Toronto, January 28, 2013
Here’s the question that we ask ourselves most often: Do I have what it takes?
Here’s the answer that we provide ourselves most often: I don’t know.
We don’t ask ourselves this question when times are easy. We ask it when times are hard. We ask it when we are confronted by a crisis or a difficult challenge.
If we have the courage, or if there is no easy way out, we may think, “I can. I must. I will.” Then we find a way or make a way to win. But we still question our ability to succeed the next time around.
There is one truth that I have learnt from motivating a million people over the past 20 years: Even the highest achievers are plagued by self-doubt. Their external confidence masks an internal fear: one day, people will find out that I’m not good enough.
Sound familiar? Welcome to being human. But that doesn’t make any easier. Self-doubt is the worm in the apple. It consumes our power and spoils others as well.
“Here’s what I think” is a shaky platform on which to stand. It’s speculative. It may or may not be related to reality. It doesn’t inspire confidence in others either.
“Here’s what I know” has power to it. It expresses knowledge, not opinions. It is substantial. It commands attention. It enables others to form their beliefs around the facts.
So here’s what I know based on twenty years of Environics Social Values Research, and my own personal experience: Stars have Nine Enabling Social Values that enable them to shine.
A Social Value is a force that drives us at our core. It determines the way we feel, the way we think, the way we interact with others and ultimately what we become. It evolves slowly over time or it can develop suddenly in response to dramatic events.
A Star is someone who thrives on change and instability. They grow in direct proportion to the challenges facing them. They prove it can be done.
They are models of what’s possible. None of them are simply born that way. They’ve worked hard to earn their gifts. Some of them benefited from families that instilled Star Social Values within them from an early age. Many of them acquired these Star Social Values against all odds. All of them live their Star Social Values every day.
Here’s a simple test to evaluate your personal evolution of the Star Social Values. On a scale of 1-10 (1 = lowest, 10 = highest), rate your spontaneous response to the following questions:
- I often do something just to prove to myself that I am able to do it:
- I see complexity and change as learning experiences and sources of opportunity:
- I am able to fully express my talent and personality to others:
- I am able to control my emotions so they enable me to succeed in any situation:
- I focus on eating, exercise and self-transformation to create a healthy life:
- I am searching for meaning and a higher purpose to my life that transcends my day-to-day activities:
- I like to be part of social networks and communities where people are deeply connected:
- I consider myself as much a citizen of the world as I am a citizen of my own country:
- I feel secure and confident that that my financial resources enable me to live the life that’s right for me:
If you scored 8 or higher on any question, you may be highly developed on that Star Social Value. If you scored less, it may be time to reevaluate your core mindset in that area. Let’s explore each of the Nine Star Social Values and they can boost your capacity to achieve extraordinary results this year.
Personal Challenge
This is the Stars’ power source. It’s a core belief that once one sets oneself a goal, one will achieve it. It’s a commitment to finishing what one starts. It’s also a realization that one must continue to set oneself difficult goals to grow. Stretch is the new comfort zone.
Personal Challenge is how Stars turn anxiety into excitement. They see problems and predicaments as offers that need to be accepted because they cannot be avoided. They’re at their best in a crisis, even if they create the crisis themselves.
Personal Challenge means never being overwhelmed. It’s a blend of optimism and appetite that keeps one happy and hungry in equal measure. Failure is never an option because it doesn’t exist. Everything leads to ultimate success. The mantra of Personal Challenge is “I’m ready. Bring It On”.
Adaptability to Complexity
This is the capacity to adapt oneself to life’s uncertainties and change. It’s the desire to explore complexity as a learning experience and source of opportunity. It means not being threatened by change but invigorated by it.
Adaptability to Complexity means being able to cope with mess and disorder. It’s an understanding that complexity is the antithesis of neat and tidy. It requires a willingness to work towards a solution even when it’s obscured from view. It’s the ability to focus on what counts while seeing the bigger picture.
Adaptability to Complexity is the ability to go fast and slow. It’s the appreciation that success is a fast-moving target that requires patience and tenacity to follow. It’s about inspired performance sustained by a passion for the grind. The mantra of Adaptability to Complexity is “Life’s a magical mystery and I’m going to solve it.”
Personal Expression
This is the desire to fully develop and express one’s talent and personality. It’s a need to communicate authentically and spontaneously with others. It’s the determination to ensure that one’s voice is heard because one believes in one’s ability to make an impact.
Personal Expression means not leaving any part of oneself unused. It’s a commitment to playing full-out all-the-time. It’s the reverse of regret and procrastination. It’s the recipe for fulfillment. But it takes mindfulness and courage. It’s an understanding that trying to hide oneself is futile.
Personal Expression is an appreciation that reciprocity makes the world go round. We’re all either amplifiers or inhibitors of each other’s power. As we fully express ourselves, we give others permission to do the same. The opposite is also true. Constraining one’s own capacity shuts others down as well.
The mantra of Personal Expression is “I declare my interdependence. I’m leaving nothing on the table.”
Emotional Control
This is the ability to channel one’s emotions constructively in the face of chaos, crisis or uncertainty. It is the capacity to control one’s feelings through logic and reasoning in extreme circumstances.
People who have strong Emotional Control protect themselves against panic or anxiety attacks. They have the presence of mind to take the right actions in the eye of the storm, and that gives them the peace of mind afterwards of knowing they did the right thing.
Emotional Control is a Star Social Value that can only be achieved through mindful practice and self-evaluation. It means developing the mental sharpness to see what’s pivotal in dire situations and the emotional toughness to act accordingly.
The Mantra of Emotional Control is “I choose my response. I own my actions. No-one and no-thing can make me do what shouldn’t be done.”
Commitment to Health
This is the commitment to focus on diet, exercise and self-transformation to create a healthy life. It’s the determination to shape one’s body and mind with all the tools available. It’s a direct function of one’s love of life and desire to preserve it as long as possible.
Commitment to Health means prioritizing one’s total wellbeing over everything else. It’s an understanding that without personal health, nothing else is possible and misery is guaranteed.
Commitment to Health is an appreciation of the ecosystem that we all form with each other. The ecosystem is only as healthy as each of its members. Nothing stays healthy without a commitment to keeping it healthy.
The mantra of Commitment to Health is “Age is my friend. I am an athlete. I can be faster, smarter, stronger every day.”
Uncommon Purpose
This is the awareness of a higher intelligence and an intense desire to understand how it impacts one’s life. It’s also the search for a higher purpose that gives meaning to one’s day-to-day activities.
People inspired by Uncommon Purpose have a superior ability to cope with adversity because they interpret it in a way that empowers them to deal overcome it. Their rich inner life strengthens their capacity to master their external circumstances.
Uncommon Purpose may not entail formal religion. Only 40% of Americans and 20% of Canadians regularly attend religious services. There are many ways to express one’s spirituality and the best way is through service to one’s fellow human beings. It is the third leg of the divine triplet: faith, hope & Charity.
The mantra of Uncommon Purpose is “I am a divine being having a human experience. I will play big because I am part of something bigger than me.”
Social Intimacy
This is a desire to feel part of groups where people are close to each other. It’s a need to build warm, deep friendships with others. It’s also a drive to share personal insights with others that one can trust and rely on.
Social Intimacy is a source of validation and assurance in times of change and instability. It’s a space to regroup and reflect on one’s thoughts through the perspective of one’s confidantes. It’s a place where one knows one won’t be judged, only advised and encouraged.
Social Intimacy may be as important to one’s wellbeing as anything that one does or puts into one’s body. There is a direct correlation between happiness and Social Intimacy. Sharing goes way beyond caring. It’s life changing.
The mantra of Social Intimacy is “I can face the world because of the people who’ve got my back. I am the company I keep.”
Global Denizen
This is an affinity with people all over the world. It is a strong interest in their cultures and desire to sample their lifestyle.
Global Denizen means being a denizen of the world not just a citizen of one’s own country. A denizen is anyone who belongs to a place that is not their indigenous home. It’s someone who empathizes with others, no matter where they are. It’s also someone who is immediately comfortable in any cultural setting.
Global Denizen is a sense that anything one does can impact the world at large. It’s also an awareness that anything that happens anywhere impacts one’s own community. Those with a Global Denizen are intensely curious about world affairs. They’re inherently international. They don’t judge others, they savour them.
The mantra of Global Denizen is “I celebrate everyone everywhere. I am a citizen of humanity”.
Financial Security
This is a sense of confidence and security around one’s personal finances. It is feeling of being in control of one’s financial situation. It’s also a grounded optimism about one’s financial future.
Financial Security is a mindset that enables one to pursue one’s dreams without being constrained by financial fears. It means having a buffer zone between oneself and desperation. Money is a resource to be earned and applied intelligently, not an obstacle that stops one’s momentum.
Financial Security means giving up the loser’s alibi, “If I didn’t have all my financial responsibilities, I would…” It’s an understanding that wealth is generated by fully actualizing one’s talents. It’s also a faith that if one takes the right steps, and keeps on walking, the rewards will follow.
The mantra of Financial Security is “I have everything I need to succeed. My real wealth is within me. I will always have enough.”
So those are the Star Social Values: Personal Challenge, Adaptability to Complexity, Personal Expression, Emotional Control, Commitment to Health, Uncommon Purpose, Social Intimacy, Global Denizen and Financial Security.
Do you have them? What would it take to embrace them? How can you enable others to live them? I hope I’ve inspired you to reach for the Stars with this message. What are you waiting for? Take your moonshot. There will never be a better time than now.
