Try It On: The Gateway to getting everything you want.

I’m wearing a new suit from Brooks Brothers. It’s called the Milano extra slim fit. When I first bought it, it felt a little tight. I’m used to a looser cut. But I tried it on. I walked around in it. I liked the style even though it felt a little strange. It made me feel bold and fashionable. The only alterations I needed were the pants.

I’ve been wearing this suit for two months. I’ve delivered ten successful presentations in it. Now it feels just right. It even feels lucky because good things have happened to me while I’m in it. I’m not superstitious, just smart. If something makes me feel faster, taller, stronger, I want more of it. I know I’m making it up. The suit is just the catalyst for the beliefs in my brain. Sometimes, the most powerful assets are the ones we create in our own minds. Clothes maketh the man (or woman) because we think it so.

Since I bought the suit, I’m trying on a lot a different styles. I’ve developed a particular preference for thin knit ties – this one is from Harry Rosen. Spread collars – this one is a Boss. I’ve even changed my socks – the brighter the better. Yup, I feel like a whole new guy.

A suit is a walking comfort zone. It’s the sartorial armor that protects one in high pressure, high stakes moments. But if you get too comfortable in the suit, it can diminish your presence and brand you as outdated. Sometimes, you even need to discard it entirely.

So what’s the moral of the story? Try on different outfits. Experiment with different styles. Adopt new approaches. We’re all being asked to take on new roles with new people in new spaces. We’re all being challenged to stretch our definition of who we are and what we can be. The “self” we think we are may be yesterday’s version of us. Tomorrow’s version is being created real time by what we do today.

We all want to be true to our self. The question is: which self? Is it the conservative, cautious, anxious self that just wants to survive? Or is it the amazing, multi-coloured, revolutionary self that wants to make a dent in the universe? I’ve discovered we all have multiple versions of our self. We’re different people in different situations – different strokes for different folks. And that’s ok. What’s not ok is when our self becomes a source of frustration, resentment or fear.
By trying on different leadership styles and behaviours, we grow more than we would through introspection alone. Experimenting with our identities allows us to find the right approach for ourselves and our organizations. It’s easier to act our way into a way of thinking than think our way into a way of acting. Let me repeat that: It’s easier to act our way into a way of thinking than think our way into a way of acting.

Conventional wisdom says: think before you act. Lipkin’s wisdom says: Act the way you want to think. Thinking can get in the way of effective action if we think for too long. So listen to the voice inside your head that says, “You are the one. You can do it. Now is your time. Take the leap. Make the call. They will love you. Don’t hesitate. It’s urgent. Act now.”

Any time you try something new, it’s going to feel awkward and uncomfortable. But don’t stop there. Practice makes champions of us all. If you are constrained by the fear of looking bad, you may be safe because you’ll be invisible. If you want to move ahead, you must stand out. Even when you fall, you’ll be moving in the right direction. FAIL means “First Action In Learning.”

So here are three simple steps to Trying It On:

1. Volunteer for the role you want. Put your hand up now. It doesn’t matter if you’re ready or not. You’ll get ready by acting the role. If there isn’t a bigger role for you, make one. Expand your contribution. Do the unexpected. Surprise yourself.

2. Be ok not being ok. In the beginning it will feel strange. The situation will appear precarious. You will feel out of step with the older, timid you. Learn the skill and enjoy the thrill. If it doesn’t work out, change your approach. If that doesn’t work out, change again and again until it does. You’ll be amazed at how many other things change with you. It’s out there waiting for you to come and get it.

3. Communicate your value. No matter who you are, you are a sales person. You are competing for the attention, time and trust of your colleagues and customers. You’re even competing for the attention, time and trust of your family and friends. If you want to be a change-maker, you never count on unconditional love. Let people know how you’re helping them. Demonstrate your value in the most explicit way you can. Rise above your reticence. Experiment with different media just like I’m doing now. What seems unnatural soon becomes second nature.

So what can you try on today? What can you let out today? Who can you inspire today? How will you celebrate your best self today? This is Mike Lipkin and I enjoyed trying on this role today.