Embassy Suites, Dallas, 10.55pm, July 30 2008

Damn. I hate losing. I hate hearing that the prospect has “decided to go in a different direction” or that “they liked me very much but they decided that this event needed a different kind of speaker” or that “they’re not ready for my message”. It hurts as much now as it ever did to hear someone say that I’m not the guy.

And you know what’s worse? I’m hearing more NO’s now than ever before. Each NO cuts deep. Each NO hurts bad. Each NO frustrates me. Each NO makes me question myself.

But only for a moment. My first response is always emotional. It’s always childlike: I want to get my way and I want it now, and I’m pissed when I don’t.

Then I think about why I didn’t win. I think about what I could have done to win. I call the prospect to find out why I didn’t win. Sometimes they speak to me and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes I get over the NO quickly and sometimes it takes a little longer.

Then I look for the YES inside the NO. I look for why I had to get the NO. I look for how I can use the NO to get the YES. I challenge myself to make the next call with confidence and conviction. I use the NO as a deposit on my next YES. I remind myself of the platinum rule: Success is a numbers game. The more calls I make, the better I become at making those calls. And the better I become at more calls, the more YESSES I will win. But because I’m making more calls, I will also get more NO’s.

Here’s the good news: I’m getting more YESSES. In fact, yesterday’s NO’s are becoming today’s YESSES. I’m discovering that NO is not forever. NO is just a test. NO is the fuel that YESSES run on. NO is there to make it real. NO is there to keep me humble. NO is there to make me pause, reevaluate, recalibrate and reinvent my methods. NO means I’m still in the game. NO is what builds my stamina and resilience.

But that doesn’t make it any easier. Disappointment sucks. It always tastes bitter. And that’s why it’s so good for me. It’s hard to swallow and it burns all the way down. That’s why I’ll keep taking it. I’ll keep learning from it. I’ll keep thriving on it. Every disappointment leads to an equal or greater distinction.

So I’ll keep turning NO’s into YESSES.  I’ll be brilliant, not bitter. How about you?

Sunday, 1.40pm.

It’s time to do nothing when there is nothing to do. But what happens when it’s time to do nothing and there is everything to do?

Ever been there? You know you’ve earned the right to rest but there is so much to be done that rest is not an option. But you really don’t feel like working. So you don’t work but you can’t relax either. You feel mildly guilty while you semi-enjoy not working. You’re sort of where you want to to be but the undone work is undoing your true enjoyment. That’s where I was a few moments ago.

I want to do nothing right now. I want to go outside and enjoy a couple cold ones with my friends and family. I want to disappear into season two of Lost. I want to kick back and enjoy the summer which is already half way gone. I want to do all these things and I will when this blog is written and my workout is complete. That’s my deal with myself. I’ll do the two most important things on my agenda and suspend the rest until tomorrow. Both require the time and quiet that the present moment offers me. Both are hard to do. But both energize and expand me. And both make it possible for me to do a whole lot of other things.

Blogging is a way of clarifying my own thoughts to myself. If I cannot write it, I don’t know it. If I can’t share it with you, there is no point in doing anything else. I live to communicate, and I communicate to live. By writing these words, I’m exercising my writing and sharing muscles.

And if I don’t exercise my physical muscles, I will atrophy and die. It’s that simple and it’s that brutal. Over 50, health is not a divine right, it’s a privilege to be earned daily. What’s more, I’m addicted to endorphins that exercise produces. They kick in after about 20 minutes. By 50 minutes, I’m in my own internal nirvana. And the feeling lasts for 4-5 hours afterwards.

This blog is almost done. I’ve won this bout with procrastination. I’ve made a deposit on my discipline. Now, I’m going for a swim. I feel good and I’m about to feel even better. In two hours time, I will relish the rest of the day to nothing. What do you have to do? How much will you enjoy your right to do nothing?

Here’s my learning: it’s easy to procrastinate but it’s impossible to escape the stress caused by your procrastination. You can’t do everything when you want to but you can do something. Find the something that is most important and do it when you have to do it. Then relax. The rest will follow.