Embassy Suites, Dallas, 10.55pm, July 30 2008

Damn. I hate losing. I hate hearing that the prospect has “decided to go in a different direction” or that “they liked me very much but they decided that this event needed a different kind of speaker” or that “they’re not ready for my message”. It hurts as much now as it ever did to hear someone say that I’m not the guy.

And you know what’s worse? I’m hearing more NO’s now than ever before. Each NO cuts deep. Each NO hurts bad. Each NO frustrates me. Each NO makes me question myself.

But only for a moment. My first response is always emotional. It’s always childlike: I want to get my way and I want it now, and I’m pissed when I don’t.

Then I think about why I didn’t win. I think about what I could have done to win. I call the prospect to find out why I didn’t win. Sometimes they speak to me and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes I get over the NO quickly and sometimes it takes a little longer.

Then I look for the YES inside the NO. I look for why I had to get the NO. I look for how I can use the NO to get the YES. I challenge myself to make the next call with confidence and conviction. I use the NO as a deposit on my next YES. I remind myself of the platinum rule: Success is a numbers game. The more calls I make, the better I become at making those calls. And the better I become at more calls, the more YESSES I will win. But because I’m making more calls, I will also get more NO’s.

Here’s the good news: I’m getting more YESSES. In fact, yesterday’s NO’s are becoming today’s YESSES. I’m discovering that NO is not forever. NO is just a test. NO is the fuel that YESSES run on. NO is there to make it real. NO is there to keep me humble. NO is there to make me pause, reevaluate, recalibrate and reinvent my methods. NO means I’m still in the game. NO is what builds my stamina and resilience.

But that doesn’t make it any easier. Disappointment sucks. It always tastes bitter. And that’s why it’s so good for me. It’s hard to swallow and it burns all the way down. That’s why I’ll keep taking it. I’ll keep learning from it. I’ll keep thriving on it. Every disappointment leads to an equal or greater distinction.

So I’ll keep turning NO’s into YESSES.  I’ll be brilliant, not bitter. How about you?

Sunday, 1.40pm.

It’s time to do nothing when there is nothing to do. But what happens when it’s time to do nothing and there is everything to do?

Ever been there? You know you’ve earned the right to rest but there is so much to be done that rest is not an option. But you really don’t feel like working. So you don’t work but you can’t relax either. You feel mildly guilty while you semi-enjoy not working. You’re sort of where you want to to be but the undone work is undoing your true enjoyment. That’s where I was a few moments ago.

I want to do nothing right now. I want to go outside and enjoy a couple cold ones with my friends and family. I want to disappear into season two of Lost. I want to kick back and enjoy the summer which is already half way gone. I want to do all these things and I will when this blog is written and my workout is complete. That’s my deal with myself. I’ll do the two most important things on my agenda and suspend the rest until tomorrow. Both require the time and quiet that the present moment offers me. Both are hard to do. But both energize and expand me. And both make it possible for me to do a whole lot of other things.

Blogging is a way of clarifying my own thoughts to myself. If I cannot write it, I don’t know it. If I can’t share it with you, there is no point in doing anything else. I live to communicate, and I communicate to live. By writing these words, I’m exercising my writing and sharing muscles.

And if I don’t exercise my physical muscles, I will atrophy and die. It’s that simple and it’s that brutal. Over 50, health is not a divine right, it’s a privilege to be earned daily. What’s more, I’m addicted to endorphins that exercise produces. They kick in after about 20 minutes. By 50 minutes, I’m in my own internal nirvana. And the feeling lasts for 4-5 hours afterwards.

This blog is almost done. I’ve won this bout with procrastination. I’ve made a deposit on my discipline. Now, I’m going for a swim. I feel good and I’m about to feel even better. In two hours time, I will relish the rest of the day to nothing. What do you have to do? How much will you enjoy your right to do nothing?

Here’s my learning: it’s easy to procrastinate but it’s impossible to escape the stress caused by your procrastination. You can’t do everything when you want to but you can do something. Find the something that is most important and do it when you have to do it. Then relax. The rest will follow.

It’s Sunday night. 10.15pm EST. 7.15pm PST which is where I’m going. As usual I’m on an aeroplane – this time to San Francisco, then to LA, then back on the red eye on Tuesday evening. My session last Friday in Berlin, Germany, is a distant memory. Two days can be a multiple lifetime if every day is your life in miniature. 28 hours with my family was the ultimate gift before the limo came to take me away again. Yes, I think in hours. That’s why I relish the good times and that’s how I get through the bad. Everything passes. Even this flight which still has two hours to go.

How do you handle the travel? How do you handle the pressure? How do you handle being away from home so much? How does your wife cope? What about your children? What about your health? These are the questions I’m continually asked. And the answer is always one hour at a time. That’s what immunizes me against overwhelm. That’s what pre-empts burnout. That’s what intensifies the experience. That’s what sweetens the moment. That’s what makes me value others so much. That’s what makes me Mike Lipkin.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I plan my days and months like everyone else who navigates life’s matrix. But even when I plan, I plan by the hour. That’s the time I allocate to creating tomorrow’s me. Now’s the time I allocate to sharing today’s me with you. One hour on this blog, then who knows…

Try it. The next time you’re in a tough place, just get through the next hour, and then the next, and then the next.

The next time you’re in Nirvana, savour every second so the hour lasts forever. The truth is that you make every hour whatever it is for you. There is no such thing as ordinary. Seriously. Whatever you take for granted is a gift that could be taken away. In the last 32 hours, here are my gifts by the hour: a lunch of cedarwood smoked barbecued salmon, watching three episodes of Lost, a workout, finishing a Novel – The Garden of Last Days by Andre Dubus III, going for a walk in the summer rain, playing with my terrier-poodles, sipping a South African Red, nocturnal games with my partner followed by eight hours of glorious sleep, reading the New York Times, planning the week ahead and writing this blog. How exquisite is that?! And how exquisite are your hours?

Remember, if you want an exquisite life, live it one hour at a time…

It’s 4.10 am EST. Except I’m on an aeroplane somewhere over the Atlantic so I don’t know what time it is. In the last ten days, I’ve been to Houston, Miami, Philadelphia, Chicago, Atlanta, Manchester, England, and now I’m on my way to Berlin. I’ve been talking to people about confronting massive change – the kind of change that can bury you, obliterate you, disappear you. I’ve looked into the eyes of people who are dazed, confused and disbelieving. They cannot fully comprehend what’s happening, so they feel even greater fear about what’s to come. Me too. I’m just as confused as the people I talk to. Maybe even worse because I’ve positioned myself as the guy who knows things others don’t. Except I don’t. And even when I think I do, it rarely happens the way I think it will. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I know what I read. And I read a lot. I know what I hear. And I hear a lot. That’s all I do – read, listen, talk, read, listen, talk. So I know what should happen next. I know what the experts say will happen next. But that’s all a joke because it hardly ever happens the way we think it will. So I’m just as scared as the people I’m paid to help stop being scared.

I’m also so damn tired. The kind of tired that seeps into your marrow and makes you want to sleep for a week, and then get up and sleep some more. It’s called life on 5 hours sleep a night, in multiple time zones, with so many people, with so much at stake. It’s called life on the ledge – where Kudos and Terror play hide and seek in my overbuzzed brain. And there’s no end to it. It’s summertime and the living supposed to be easy. But this will be my busiest month of the year. I’m living my own version of Climate Change. So I’m off to talk to consultants in Berlin until Friday. Then I’m off to San Franscisco and LA before returning to Toronto on Tuesday.

But you know what? I’m loving it. I’m bumping up against my limits with every breath and every word. This blog is proof. It’s my first one. It’s the beginning of a journal that I get to share with whoever cares to share it with me. I’m living the dream, baby. I’m doing what I’m designed to do – inspire others to inspire others especially when they’re scared and tired. I’m fascinated by the technology that’s powering this communication. I’m enthralled by the violence and velocity of the change we’re living through. I’m grateful for my skills and the resilience to do what I’m doing. I’m humbled by the courage and ingenuity I witness in so many people every day. I’m amazed at the opportunities and possibilities that are constantly opening up for me. I’m thankful for my family who give me the strength and permission to live my nomadic lifestyle. I’m in awe of my body that takes a licking and keeps on ticking so I can keep on keeping on. It may all change tomorrow but right now I’m on fire. The fear, the fatigue, the overwhelm, the anxieties, and the setbacks are nothing compared to the magic, the wonder, the contribution, the joy, the adventure, the connection, the warmth, the laughter and the breakthroughs. Stay tuned…

How is 2008 going for you? For me, it’s been the fastest year of my career. So much is happening, with so many people, in so many time-zones, I feel like I’m being obliterated in the blur. Sound familiar? If you’re like any one of the 50,000 people to whom I’ve spoken this year, you’re in a race against the clock and the clock is winning.

So what’s the silver bullet? How can you slow down long enough to breathe and focus on what’s important?

Stay tuned, join the conversation, discover, contribute your own insights and even engage in dialogue with other “Preeminences” here in the Circle of Preeminence. 

I look forward to our next meeting…